Mission: Jungle Terror / Bungle in the Jungle

Title: Jungle Terror and Bungle in the Jungle
Author: dragonman
Obligatory Linkage: http://movies.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544172236 and http://movies.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544172484
Sporkage by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Sporking rated: R
Sporkers' notes: Yargh just about sums it up. Lex gets molested by compys. Trojie, Pads and Oscar are so horrified that words just about fail them. Then she gets molested by a raptor. Glod help us all. These two fics have been amalgamated into one mission because they are actually identical in everything except the species of molesting dinosaur. The author reused exactly the same opening and pretty much the same wording throughout both fics. We didn't see the need to waste time and words doing the same thing over twice.

( Alright then, hitch up your panties and let's be off )

MISSION: UNCUT VERSION!!!

Title: Black and White UNCUT VERSION!!!
Author: True_enough1549
Obligatory Linkage: http://community.livejournal.com/narnia_slash/396114.html
Rating: R
Sporked By: agenttrojie and tea_fiend as Agents Veridian Green and Stevius of the Department of Character Protective Services.
Summary/Notes: "Skandar and Will see each other on set of PC, and skandar is no longer is black and white. He's going to take full advantage this time around. Please review! Reviews=love!! Well i promised the uncut version so FINALLY here it is!!" is what the author had to say. 'Ridian and Stevius would prefer it to be summed up as 'inexplicable, badly-written underage smut', as they feel this has a closer relationship with the actual contents of the fic and is more easily comprehensible by people who aren't thirteen year old fanbrats.
The trouble with finishing missions at two in the morning is that our SPaG beta is fast asleep. cassie5squared, we're betting you'll spot at least five errors that we missed.

( How many times have I pointed out that mentioning leisure activities in front of the console is a bad idea? )

MISSION: First Time

Title: First Time
Author:skandar4life
Rating: NC-17 - dub-con, mentions of spousal rape, dubelube.
Obligatory linkage: http://community.livejournal.com/narnia_slash/399593.html
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend, as Veridian and Stevius
Notes: This fic is another one of those really, really disturbing ones we take on. If dub-con disturbs you, please don't read on. This fic basically involves a terrified Skandar being relieved of his virginity by an oblivious Ben Barnes. The author appears to think that a) the smaller guy automatically bottoms, and b) it's somehow romantic to be horrifically frightened of sex and yet still go through with it. We'd rather like to smack her around and then send her to therapy for the obvious problems she has.

( I'm almost starting to wish for some femmeslash, just so that I no longer have to suffer your apparent delusion that you are in fact Mr Keynes's rabidly over-protective mother )