rc45: (bad slash, ppc)

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Created on 2009-10-08 20:43:41 (#450936), last updated 2010-01-24 (403 weeks ago)

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Name:Response Centre #45
Birthdate:May 14
Location:New Caledonia
This all takes place in the universe of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, an organisation of ficcers who are both annoyed with and amused by badfic. They write their Agent characters into various badfics and 'fix' the issues by a) noting them down in an orderly and responsible fashion and then b) kicking the shit out of the Mary Sue or Author-wraith (in the case of fic without Sues) responsible. The PPC was invented by the authors of Agents Jay and Acacia and their original missions can be found here.

Trojie and Pads write PPC missions that deal with smutfic, usually slash, but also het and any other variants. Basically, if it's got bad sex and bad biology in it, we want to jump up and down on it with the spiky boots. All in the name of fun, obviously. Our credentials are that we ourselves are inveterate slashers, Pads has a degree in English and Creative Writing and Trojie has a degree in biology and geology (and is now a palaeontology student), and therefore at least most of the time we know what we're talking about when it comes to errors in either construction or content in slash. We very much believe in the existence of good slash and good smutfic, and we'd rather the sporking of bad slash was in the hands of slashers, rather than in the hands of people who dislike slash on principle because of the whole 'boys gettin' it on' aspect.

The Heroes

The oldest (in terms of length of career) Agent in our stable is Agent Trojie (short for Trojanhorse) who, unsurprisingly, was thought up by and is mostly based on Trojie, or at least, was early on. These days they are far from being the same character.

Agent Trojie is of medium height, generic-Caucasian, and from the Real World, or rather, from Earth. The same Earth you currently live on. The necessity of pointing this out will become clear later. She was once a student at an Earth university, studying geology and biology, when she volunteered for PPC service. She was assigned immediately to the Department of Bad Slash, and has not moved either department or Response Centre since. Her first partner was Agent Soulshadow, a half-demoness with a very bad temper, who finally snapped and went missing in 2005.

Trojie had a brief period of madness in 2006. The results of this appear to have been her suddenly denying the existence and, indeed, logic of heterosexual relationships, and developing a chronic desire to steal anything and everything related in any way to the Discworld, Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman.

In 2007 Trojie worked on an eclectic series of missions with one-off partners, the majority of which have not been documented. In 2008 her career picked up, with the sporking of LittlefootxCera and the recruitment of a new permanent partner, Agent Paddlebrains. This pair have been extremely busy over the past year, sporking nearly thirty fics together, fighting (reluctantly) alongside their fellow Agents in the 2008 Mary Sue invasion of Headquarters, adopting children and minis, and, eventually, becoming a couple.

Trojie has one child by adoption, a juvenile Triceratops horridus from the Land Before Time continuum, who is a Sued version of Cera Threehorn. She was renamed Marsha, and lives in the Nursery until such time as she is deemed adult and well-taught enough to become an Assassin.

Trojie's main partner is Agent Paddlebrains, or Pads (or 'Sirius Black' on offical paperwork and when Trojie wants to be a bitch). Pads was born in a Potterverse roleplay, and is a combination of Sirius Black circa 1978 and her author. Her roleplay had a rather more fluid notion of gender (hence her female incarnation in the PPC) than that found in the Real World, and so she found herself well suited for the Department of Bad Slash. Shortly after being assigned to RC#45, she began wooing her partner, initially with limited success.

Pads is an incorrigibly filthy-minded chainsmoker with a penchant for boots. She also has an affinity with electronics and the Internet, and put this to good use writing an algorithm to divert missions in choice continua to their console. This backfires frequently, either bringing them missions in continua they know nothing about, or else bringing them missions in familiar continua but which are Suefic, rather than slashfic. As both Agents, whilst being resistant to smutfic, violently hate Sues and are known to be almost incapable of dealing with them, this is a rather spectacular backfire indeed.

In the summer of 2008, Trojie and Pads were assigned an mpreg mission in the Real World. As a result of this, Pads ended up carrying the child of tennis players Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer. Said child was named Spencer Black (after Spencer Gore, first winner of Wimbledon) and carried almost to term by Pads until her participation in the sporking of an mpreg fic in which Sirius Black was pregnant - the fic asserted that Sirius gave birth, thus forcing both Pads and the 'real' Sirius into labour. Pads decided to adopt the other baby, the son of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, at the same time, as he was technically her Spencer's 'half-twin'. Named Andy Henson Black, he and his sibling both currently reside in the Nursery.

For the latter half of 2008, Trojie and Pads had a new Agent, Oscar Henson, to train up. He was a Nursery baby, the son of Jareth and Hoggle of the Labyrinth, who grew up in the PPC, and due to his origins was deemed the ideal first agent for the new Division of Mpreg. He is a sensible lad with an endearing innocence that Agent Luxury seems determined to relieve him of. Despite the fact that he now has a partner and missions of his own, he is often roped in to help Trojie and Pads when they feel they need bait backup.

As of early-mid 2009, Oscar gained a partner, Agent Iza, formerly of the Department of Mary Sues (and created by [ profile] sedri). She is a perky Bajoran ex-bit character from the Trekverse.

Trojie and Pads are technically referred to as 'freelancers', meaning that they are Bad Slash agents who aren't assigned to any particular Division or continuum. They may go where they please, although they specialise in NC-17 fic, fic which is particularly disturbing, fic involving characters with complicated biology, or fic involving dinosaurs. You'd be really surprised how much there is of that last.

We write for other Departments and Divisions of the PPC as well:

The Department of Bad Slash's Division of Bad Het: This is currently staffed by Agent Gypsy Roberts, a browncoat from the Firefly continuum with an itchy trigger finger and a stoic demeanour, and Agent Katie Cray, usually known as Cray, a psychic from the Marvelverse with an affinity for alligators, who belongs to [ profile] julyflame. Few mission reports have so far been forthcoming from this pair, but they are extremely suspicious of each other and tend to spend most of their time fighting amongst themselves.

The Department of Character Protective Services, Real Person Division: The two Agents who look after the actors from the Narnia films are Veridian Green, more usually called 'Ridian, an ex-stripper and gentleman of negotiable affection from Ankh-Morpork, and Stevius, an uncanonical Faun and child of Mr Tumnus and a Sue. 'Ridian is the newbie, a soft-touch who loves children, small fluffy animals and Morris dancing, whereas Stevius is an ex-Assassin and tends to project an air of almost Spock-like logic and lack of emotion during missions, but who enjoys playing the panpipes and participating in all kinds of folk dancing during his downtime. They frequently disagree over the subject of Skandar Keynes, whom 'Ridian is ridiculously protective over, which annoys Stevius as it often impedes their work and renders 'Ridian incapable of being objective.

The Department of Angst: Agents Montbretia Tornquist and Lasa Nara deal with excessively angsty fic. Mombi is an overly cheerful twentysomething, blind as a bat without her glasses and with a punch like Captain Carrot's. Lasa is a reclusive, angry teenager who likes Proust and any other author considered by the vast majority of people as being difficult to read. She likes a challenge. Mombi tends to serve as the sole link to the world outside the RC for Lasa, who is rarely seen in public.
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