Response Centre #45

Title: Spreading Filths
Author: whysoserious
Obligatory Linkage: http://lotr.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600080827
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Sporkage rated: M (or 'oh, Christ onna bike' in our personal scale)
Sporkers' notes: Gollum decides to assuage Frodo's lust for the absent Sam, and Trojie and Pads get some sporking assistance from someone they weren't exactly expecting. Betaread by the lovely sedri

( Is it a Sue, Mum? Can I come with you? Can I, please? )

Title: The Upholding of Honour
Authors: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Rating: R
Summary: A PPC interlude. Once upon a time there was a newbie on the Board who, when inventing his first Agent character, decided to invent an incident in which his Agent challenged the Department of Bad Slash to a squickfic reading contest, and which his Agent won. Established writers for the Department of Bad Slash were understandably a bit miffed by the insinuation that a newbie from some other department would be better at dealing with bad smut than their Agents were. Thus the idea for this interlude was born. It was recently unearthed in the uncharted depths of gdocs, and is posted here for posterity.

( You're kidding )

Title: of hot tubs and weevils
Author: punksbitch
Obligatory Linkage: http://tv.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600094490
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Sporkage rated: R
Sporkers' notes: See Jack and Ianto. See Jack and Ianto run away from weevils. See Jack and Ianto stop to have sex in a hot tub. No, we don't really want to either. Contains no spoilers for Children of Earth, so don't worry. Betaed by ansela_jonla. Warning: contains gratuitous manlove and Science.

( Do you think you can actually get steel wool for your brain? )

Title: (Look at me) Looking in your eyes
Author: charlies_dragon
Fandom: Star Trek (2009) (a.k.a. Star Trek Reboot, Star Trek XI etc, you get the picture. The new one with the pretty CGI and pretty cast)
Obligatory Linkage:http://community.livejournal.com/dragons_horde/15408.html#cutid1
Rating: NC-17
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Notes: A short and sweet one. For a given value of sweet, anyway. We appear to be posting out of order rather, thanks to the ST:XI film being released in May while our last published mission was in February. If anyone's got any horrors for us to tackle that were posted before March 2009, let us know so we can fill in the chronological gap. Betaed by ansela_jonla and cassie5squared.

( Pavel Chekov does not count as a Cute Animal Friend. )

Title: Jungle Fever
Author: dinolover
Obligatory Linkage: http://movies.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090260
Sporkage by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Rating: R
Summary: Jurassic Park pr0nfic - Tim has it away with a male Velociraptor. Yes, you did just read that right and no, we have no explanation whatsoever. Many thanks to ansela_jonla for the beta-read, and for the loan of Agent Ansela.

( Tell me I'm not the only person in the world who knows that not everything has a penis? )

Title: How To Remember The Signs
Author: GuardianOfLight
Obligatory linkage: http://books.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544211791
Rating: NC-17
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Sporkage rating: R
Summary: The punishment saga comes to a climax (pun not really intended but disturbingly accurate) with god/human pornography.

( Dear ol' C.S. was rather quiet on things like God playing the equivalent of strip-poker with his flock )

Title: Mirror Mirror
Author: deadhead
Obligatory linkage: http://books.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600093798&chapter=1
Rating: Adult+
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Sporkage rating: R
Summary: In part three of their punishment, Trojie and Pads face down a sex prophecy and a naked Narnian mob.
Thanks to ansela_jonla for betaing.

( Who the hell has a sexual-depravity training montage? )

Title: The two boys
Author: Miyu
Obligatory linkage: http://books.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544204021
Rating: Adult++
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Sporkage rating: R
Summary: The twin princes of Archenland do some inexplicable experimentation, in the first part of Trojie and Pads' punishment for their unauthorised mission-stealing. Well, they do say payback's a bitch ...
Thanks to ansela_jonla for betaing.

( 'Gosh, what a lot of wtf.' )

Title: An Elf's Worst Nightmare
Author: AJ Matthews
Rating: T
Obligatory linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/587988/3/An_Elfs_Worst_Nightmare
Sporked by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Sporkage rated: R for Lux's inappropriatenesses
Sporkers' notes: Pads is doing Mpreg missions only in order to protect her unborn sprog, and so she continues the training of young Oscar while Trojie and Lux take on this travesty. This runs concurrently with 'Extending the Family'

( If they can't share why don't they just have an orgy? )

Title: Eternal

Author:Nienna100

Rating: M

Obligatory linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4682545/1/Eternal

Sporkage by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend

Sporking rated: R, though we feel we have done a heroic job at removing all the smut from what was essentially a series of loosely connected gratuitous sex scenes.

Sporkers' notes: Trojie and Pads have a romp, or more accurately a killing spree, through Rivendell in pursuit of a nymphomaniacal, alcoholic, underage Aragorn. Beta-d by the wonderful, spiffy sedri (yes, we still suck at remembering to credit our betas).


( Who's this Elf he's having his way with? )