Mission: Jungle Fever

[rc45]

Title: Jungle Fever
Author: dinolover
Obligatory Linkage: http://movies.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090260
Sporkage by: agenttrojie and tea_fiend
Rating: R
Summary: Jurassic Park pr0nfic - Tim has it away with a male Velociraptor. Yes, you did just read that right and no, we have no explanation whatsoever. Many thanks to ansela_jonla for the beta-read, and for the loan of Agent Ansela.



***

February 2009 HST


'What do you mean, 'We need Oscar'?' Agent Trojie asked her partner. 'Let me see the mission!'

'No. Just go and get Kermit, will you?' Agent Pads said, hunching in front of the console to hide the screen.

'Is it Mpreg?'

'No.'

'Then we're not supposed to take him with us. He's getting missions of his own now.'

'Trust me, we're going to need backup.'

'Backdown, more like,' Trojie mutterered. 'Look, just tell me-'

'Go. And. Get. Oscar. Now.' Pads lit a cigarette with a shaking hand. 'For once in your life, woman, do what I tell you.'

Trojie squinted in confusion at her partner, and then went to unhook the end of the navigational string from its nail on the back of the door. 'Alright, I'll be back,' she said. 'At some point in the future.'

'And while you're gone,' Pads said, sucking on the cigarette as if her life depended on it, 'I'm going to get us some weaponry.'

Trojie stopped dead in the doorway, and spun around, a look of horror on her face. 'Tell me this isn't more LxC, please?'

Pads twitched, but shook her head.

'No,' she said in a voice that suggested that she wasn't being entirely truthful. Trojie eyed Pads, and noticed a slight tic.

'It's dinosaurs, though, isn't it?'

'Just ... go and get the boy.'

Sighing, Trojie left the RC, winding the string around her wrist for safekeeping. After a moment of staring in blank horror at the Console, Pads abandoned her cigarette and went dog, before heading out into HQ herself.

It was a fairly familiar path she trod - Agent Ansela's arsenal was frequently being borrowed by the Bad Slash agents - and so coupled with Pads' canine sense of smell, it didn't take long for her to reach the door. She transformed, rubbed her eyes, and knocked.

'Come in!'

'Ansela?'

'Pads. What can I do for you?'

'You could hide me?' the Bad Slasher asked, slipping through the door into the RC and glancing round at the assorted weaponry and explosives.

'Lux?' Ansela asked sympathetically.

'Worse.' Pads lit a cigarette morosely, totally ignoring Ansela's look of distaste.

'Trojie on the warpath?'

'Not yet.' Pads let out an enormous sigh. 'We've got three fics in the JPverse to deal with.'

'Well, she likes dinosaurs. You're not worried she's going to adopt another one, are you?'

Pads opened her mouth to answer, but no words came. She slumped in a vacant patch of floor, and silently passed the mission printouts over. The Assassin cast an eye over the first, and let out a yelp of horror.

'See?' Pads said morosely.

'Oh, my eyes,' Ansela cried, looking faintly nauseous. 'No one called Tim is allowed to do that.'

'What?'

'It's my brother's name,' the Assassin explained. 'It's ... ew.'

Pads blinked. 'That's the only thing you see wrong with it?'

Ansela just shrugged, holding the printout at arm's length. 'So what weaponry are you after? Tranqs fit for a raptor?'

'Please.' Pads twitched again, and then a thought struck her. 'Hang on, you spend a lot of time in Pegasus, right?'

'Right.'

'Got any of those personal shields?'

Ansela paused in her rummaging through the myriad guns behind the console, and thought a moment. 'I might have one somewhere,' she decided at last. 'But it'll cost you.'

Pads turned out her pockets. 'I've got two pouches of baccy, three lighters and assorted papers,' she volunteered, dumping them on a chair before venturing pocketwards once more. 'Some Bleeprin -' she gave the bottle a shake - 'and a few loose commas.'

'Is that it?'

'Unless lint's any good to you.'

'Not really.'

'You can have my firstborn son then.'

'What, Spencer?'

'I'm not going to have much use for him when I'm eviscerated and my intestines are being chewed before my still-living eyes.' She lit another cigarette, still shaking.

Ansela folded her arms and frowned, thinking. 'I'll take the Bleeprin and the lighters,' she said at last, 'and you can have the tranqs and the shield, so long as you promise to quit smoking in here.'

'Done.'

'And swear on your life never to mention the name Tim in conjunction with sex ever again.'

'No problem.'

With one last sideways look, Ansela threw a small round device across to Pads, who caught it and immediately attached it to her chest. 'You're a lifesaver. Literally. Anything you need, ever, I'm yours.'

Ansela wrinkled her nose in distaste. 'Noted. So ... how are you planning to carry these guns?'

***

Trojie and a very worried-looking Oscar were waiting in the RC for Pads. Trojie was clutching her bell in two hands. Oscar was clutching Trojie's shoulders in two hands. The console looked dented.

'Ah. So you read the missions, then?' said Pads.

'I couldn't stop her!' said Oscar, tugging without much success at the straining Trojie. Pads came over and gave him a hand. Together they manhandled the veteran into a chair, although they couldn't get the bell off her.

'I did tell you,' Pads said to Trojie, patting the air just above her hand.

'Tell me I'm not the only person in the world who knows that not everything has a penis? And that not every kind of intromittent organ is a penis?' said Trojie piteously.

'Well, you've just told us, so now there's three of us,' said Oscar logically. Trojie glared at him. Pads sighed.

'Of course you're not the only one,' she said soothingly. 'Of course you're not. Come on, let's get this over with, shall we?'

'You're remarkably perky all of a sudden,' Trojie said suspiciously. Pads shrugged.

'And you've got a sort of ... aura,' Oscar added. 'Except only when you touch things.'

'She does?' Trojie poked at Pads, and, sure enough, there was a green shimmer surrounding the Animagus.

'Personal shield,' she said, beaming. ''Cause if you think I'm going anywhere near a velociraptor with nothing but my own skin to protect me, you can think again.'

'Did you bring enough for everyone?' Trojie demanded.

'Velociraptors?' Oscar echoed.

'Ansela only had one,' Pads said. 'But we've got tranqs,' she added, indicating the guns slung over - and about an inch above - her shoulder.

'Yes, because we all have so much experience with firearms. Can this shield thing extend to cover all three of us?'

'Nope.'

'Can we timeshare it?'

'Nope. It won't even let me take it off until I feel perfectly safe. Which given the immediate likelihood of raptors, isn't likely to be until after we've finished the mission.'

'Well, I hope you're happy to fill in the paperwork on how we died,' said Trojie, standing up and going to the bunks, where her menagerie were lying, enjoying their post-breakfast nap. 'Absinthe, you be a good girl for Pads if mummy doesn't come back. Apple, Madam Pomphrey isn't food. That goes for everyone, actually. None of you are insectivorous by habit, and Acromantulae aren't even insects. So stop, please. Edmond, Elebereth, no setting fire to things unless Pads asks you to. I'll miss you all-'

'Stop being so bloody melodramatic,' said Pads. 'Come on, it's not that long. We'll be in and out in two shakes of a dromaeosaurid's tail.'

'Are those the two shakes it performs while eating you?' asked Oscar with some trepidation, handing Trojie her Bag.

'Honestly, ye of little faith. Here, take your guns,' said Pads, activating a portal with some difficulty, given the forcefield. She chivvied Oscar through ahead of herself. Trojie stalked grimly after them.

The first thing she spotted on the other side was her partners, cowering behind a convenient fern. The source of their fear was obvious - a few feet away, a human boy and an adult Velociraptor mongoliensis were engaged in what looked like a staring contest.

Trojie joined the others as quietly as she could. 'Pads, can you write with that thing on?'

'Doubt it.'

'Right then. If this all goes tits up, you're bait while we leg it, alright?'

Pads gulped, but nodded.

'Oscar, the charges will be coming thick and fast, so do your best to keep up,' Trojie continued.

'So will the canons,' Pads muttered. Trojie smacked her round the back of the head, or tried to. 'Personal shield, remember?' the Animagus added, as Trojie shook her stinging hand.

'I think it's starting,' Oscar interrupted in a whisper.

omg the raptor had a fucking erection!

'omg?' asked Pads.

'Erection?' asked Trojie.

'I'll write both of those down, then, shall I?' asked Oscar, seeing the expressions on the faces of his partners. 'Using ... internet ... abbreviations ... in prose. Giving ... dinosaurs ... erections. There. Done.'

'Wait. Waitwaitwait,' said Pads suddenly. 'This is filmverse. This raptor ought to be a girl.'

'Didn't they use that horrible bad-biology explanation of frog reproductive methods somehow transposing into the dinosaurs and allowing them to change sex spontaneously in the movie, though?' asked Trojie, scowling.

'Not the raptors, not in the film.' said Pads. 'This ought to be female.'

'Noting,' said Oscar, frantically scribbling.

'And,' said Pads, turning a mite paler than she already was, 'there ought to be two more of them somewhere in here.'

'Um,' said Oscar, gesturing with his pen at the scene in front of them, 'Tim appears to be being kissed by the currrent raptor.'

He approached the boy,put his claws on the boy shoulders and drew him into a passionate kiss,the two tongues tangled wildy,moaning

Pads wrapped both arms round Trojie's waist, trapping her and preventing any ill-advised lunging and waving of the bell.

'I hardly even know where to start,' Trojie growled, 'so you can stop with the groping.'

'I'm not groping, I'm restraining,' Pads said in a soothing voice. 'How about 'dinosaurs don't have lips'?'

'That's one place to start. Quite a good place, actually, I mean, it would be like kissing a crocodile. A lot of teeth. Hard surfaces. It would probably hurt. And let us say nothing on the subject of tongues. Or teeth! Why on earth would the Velociraptor not just bite him? It's not like kissing is part of reptilian courtship! This makes no sense!' Trojie wailed the last word, attempting to free her bell-arm from the vice-like grip of her partner. 'Let me go, dammit!'

'Not until you calm down and promise me you're not going to attempt to bop a velociraptor three times actual size over the head with a lump of brass.'

Trojie snarled.

'I'm not taking that as a promise. Oscar, be a dear and see if you can fish my lead out of the Bag, will you?' Pads set about attempting to undo her own collar with one hand while keeping hold of Trojie with the other. 'Hmm, this shield has a few drawbacks. Oh well. Improvisation!'

Once Oscar had found the lead, Pads proceeded to loop it around Trojie's neck. 'This will have to do,' she said, and turned back to the fic.

While they'd been engaged in this light BDSM, the fic had been progressing. Young Tim was now without any trousers, and the raptor was fellating the boy with every sign of enjoyment. They observed in horrified silence, until Tim ejaculated.

'This is movieverse, yes?' Trojie said, in an unusually calm voice.

'I bloody hope so,' Pads said, 'else there's a lot more than just three raptors on this island. Although bookverse would explain this one being male...'

Oscar checked the printout. 'It's movieverse,' he reported. 'So what's the charge?'

'Does it count as paedophilia if one of them's eight but the other's a dinosaur?' Trojie asked, in the same worryingly steady tone.

'... Let's say yes, just so we have the extra charge and don't have to think about the ethics involved?' Pads suggested.

'Charging for bestiality, paedophilia, and prepubescent ejaculation,' Oscar said, still scribbling. 'As well as for pronoun problem giving the raptor lips, and for ... well, for that,' he finished, pointing.

'You've really been working hard on your biology, haven't you?' Trojie said approvingly. 'Good lad.'

'Uh, Trojie? The raptor's discovered rimming...'

Trojie lunged forward, groping for her bell, and nearly pulled Pads off her feet before stopping short, choked by the lead. 'Ow!'

'Now you know how I feel.'

'So I take it this isn't exactly par for the course with reptiles, then?' said Oscar, writing without waiting to be told.

'I'm getting quite pronounced cramp in my arms,' said Pads, leaning back to put some tension in the loop of lead that was around her arm and thus counterbalance herself against the straining Trojie on the other end. 'I think this restraining thing is obviously something that needs practice.'

After watching the two senior agents struggle for a moment, Oscar turned back to the dinoporn scene at hand. He scratched his head with his pen. 'I'll just, uh, put down 'pulsing cock' as a charge as well, shall I?' he said as quietly as he could manage, hoping they wouldn't hear.

'WHAT?'

'Oh dear.'

'Oh, you didn't.'

'Sorry! I didn't think she'd hear!'

'Narrative Laws of Comedy, Kermit! Honestly! Dammit, give me a hand here, she's breaking free!'

'We could ... let her?' Oscar suggested. 'I mean, as soon as the raptor's done getting a good taste of Tim's intestines, it's going to, um, rape him? Does it count as rape?'

'Eight year olds can't consent,' Pads said, throwing one arm around a tree and digging her heels into the soil.

'And I expect there's going to be size issues too,' Oscar said, jotting down another charge. 'Won't there be, you know, ruptures, and such?'

'If she takes on that thing with nothing but a bell, she'll be ruptured!'

'Right then,' Oscar said, shoving the chargelist and pen into his back pocket and hefting one of the tranquiliser guns. It was almost as big as he was, and he took aim with some difficulty.

'Just let me at it,' Trojie snarled. 'Please.'

'We're here to exorcise it,' Oscar told her, in his best attempt at a stern voice. 'Not knock its brains out.'

'Uh,' Pads interrupted in a strained sort of voice. 'This may not be the best time to mention it, but you remember how there are actually three of these buggers?'

Oscar turned his gaze away from the straining Trojie and the interspecies rape. His eyes, when they met Pads', showed more than a hint of fear.

'And you know how they hunt in packs?' she continued.

Oscar nodded slowly, hardly daring to move.

'I think I can probably distract the one behind you, and I fully trust Trojie to take down that one, but can you see the third?'

'No?'

'This is going to be an Issue.'

Oscar's eyes widened. 'Um, I can see it now,' he said, tentatively.

'Well, can you shoot it?'

'This ... is going to take some choreography,' he said. 'Because it is two feet behind you.'

'Ah.'

'Yes.'

'If I ... no, that's not going to work.'

'Come on,' snarled Trojie, fighting her partner's grip. 'It's nearly the end of the bloody fic.'

'Okay, If you let her go,' said Oscar slowly, attempting to out-stare the raptor behind Pads, 'and go for the one that's behind me, then I'll go for the one that's behind you, and with any luck we won't all trip over each other in the process.' He gulped. 'Ready?'

'Ready,' confirmed Pads, shifting the lead so that she could release it more easily. 'Is this a good time to mention my mortal fear of Velociraptor?'

'Probably not,' Trojie said, hefting her bell and not taking her eyes off the raptor in front of her.

Oscar took a deep breath, his finger on the trigger. 'GO GO GO!'

Pads let go of the lead and leapt, transforming in mid-air. Raptor #3 was right behind her, sailing through the air claws first. Praying she'd had the sense to take off the safety before entering the fic, Oscar pulled the trigger and followed through with the butt of the gun.

Somewhere off to his right, an aborted snarl and a yelp suggested that Trojie either had bopped the rapist raptor a good googly one before tripping over the prone Tim, or else was currently having her innards splashed across the jungle floor. Oscar hoped it was the former.

The tranquiliser was fast-acting, and the agent stared at the prone raptor at his feet for a moment, before suddenly remembering Pads. Growls, snarls and all manner of vicious sound effects were emanating from the bushes ahead. Shaking his hair from his eyes, he loaded another tranq into the gun, took a deep breath, and called out.

'Pads? I'm ready for it!'

A black blur hurtled past him, rapidly followed by raptor #2. Oscar was dimly aware, as he tried valiantly to get the creature in his sights, of repeated clanging noises from Trojie's general direction, and he heard her voice declaiming with venom:

'Avaunt, foul slashwraith, defiler of fandoms, of herpetology and of underage characters! I command thee in the name of SPIELBERG to cease and desist and to depart from this place forthwith! In the name of SPIELBERG I compel thee! I banish bad biology! I banish dubious lube! I banish paedophilia and bestiality! I do hereby conjure and bind the canonical reality of this continuum! By the power vested in me by the Queen Anne's Lace of the Department of Bad Slash of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, and in the name of SPIELBERG, in the name of CRICHTON, and in the name of HENRY FAIRFIELD OSBORN, AVAUNT!'

Fortunately, the shouting distracted raptor #2 long enough for Oscar to plug a dart into its neck fairly handily. He waited suspiciously until the thing collapsed and then turned back to see Trojie dragging Tim behind her and facing off the now canonically very interested in killing-and-eating-humans raptor. 'A little help here?' she cried. 'Now would be nice!'

Oscar aimed and fired. The raptor sagged.

'Come on, kid, it's okay,' said Trojie, pulling the now-catatonic Tim into a sitting position and surreptitiously inspecting his condition. 'Oscar,' she said quietly, beckoning. 'Can you take him back to Medical? We can't deal with this sort of thing in the field. I'll find Pads and get on with the neuralysing. Thanks,' she added without waiting for a reply, and tossed the Mpreg agent an RA.

'You're going to neuralyse the raptors?' Pads asked, appearing from behind a handy fern as Oscar disappeared through the portal with the canon slung over his shoulder.

'Got to do the Duty thoroughly,' Trojie said primly. 'Besides, they could be like lions - now that they've had a taste of human flesh they might want more of it.'

'They're raptors. They ate people anyway.'

'Yes, but we don't want them getting in the habit of molesting them first.'

'Well,' Pads decided, 'it beats dissecting them, I suppose.'

'Don't tempt me.'

'You've already investigated dinosaurs with mammalian sex organs before, you don't need to do it again.'

'But what if different authors do it differently?' Trojie began to get a mad gleam in her eye.

'Oh, for Glod's sake, just neuralyse them and we can get Tim back and get out of here? When he gets back I'm sure canon will snap back and take their wrong genitals with it.'

'Fine.'

FLASH

'You three are Velociraptor mongoliensis of the Jurassic Park continuum, and while you have the desire to eat humans you do not have any desire to engage in sexual behaviour with them, either before or afterwards.'

'Ah, there you are,' said Oscar, poking his head through a portal that had suddenly rippled into existence.. 'I'm going to drop Tim somewhere where he'll at least have a fighting chance at not being hunted down. Meet back at the RC?'

The raptors eyed the agents interestedly.

'Bugger meeting elsewhere,' said Pads, grabbing Trojie by the wrist and scrambling for the portal. 'Take us with you!'

The portal shimmered out of existence as soon as the agents were through, and the raptors were left alone in the jungle once more. A moment later, Tim was deposited in a section of jungle some distance away from the marauding predators.

Back in the RC, Oscar wasn't happy.

'Look, all I'm saying,' he complained to Trojie, 'is that your missions involve special requirements. Like extra underwear. I didn't sign up to have to cart spare pairs of pants around.'

'And all I'm saying,' Pads interrupted, 'is that you'd look positively smashing in these ones.' She held out what looked like a distressingly frilly and lacy piece of string. 'And it's not like Trojie's even worn them.'

'Of course not,' said she. 'They're utterly impractical. This is a moot point anyway, because, in case you'd forgotten, we've got two more fics in that 'verse to sort out. Clean underwear would be a waste.'

Oscar sagged, shifting uncomfortably. 'Fine. But let's not stand upwind of anything with big teeth, alright?'


To be continued...

Comments

Cruising the Wiki and I caught Pads' update.

[warrior-joe.livejournal.com]

While I can't say I'm SURPRISED, as it were (this is, after all, the Internet), I can say this: that is something you don't see every day.

*rummages in newbie gifts* I don't think anyone bothered to give me any Bleeprin, but there are some steaks in here as the result of someone giving me a cow that got caught in a flamewar a short while later. *passes over a few prime cuts*

And you said there were TWO MORE of these? You poor, sorry dears. [/motherly] I'll see if I can't scare up someone from Psych to come by after you get back.

Re: Cruising the Wiki and I caught Pads' update.

[sedri.livejournal.com]

*gives you Bleeprin* Everyone must have a stock.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Yep, two more.

Your beef and sympathy is much appreciated :)

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

... yikes. Just ... no, I don't wanna know what was going through that person's head. The Wind in the Willows porn still beats this for skeeving me out, though, because I've only seen the sporkified version of this one, and besides the "omg" killed me laughing before any more damage could be done.

'Does it count as paedophilia if one of them's eight but the other's a dinosaur?'

Congratulations, that's probably the first time that sentence has ever been written anywhere ever in the history of the multiverse. Have an internet.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Yay, an internet!

We seem to say a lot of things that have never been said before. Goes with the job, I suppose.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

Think that sentence would make a good icon, or are there too few places we could use it?

Definitely have to make ones of the Gay Weasel Sketch and of "Being a nice person doesn't mean you literally shit rainbows".

[tea-fiend.livejournal.com]

If you titled the icon "Rule 34" you could use it all over the place.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

If you want to icon it, feel free ... I'm not sure about how many times it'll be used, but hey, the 'just grab that penis' line seems to get about :D

Oh, definitely. I second the motion!

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

BTW, would the Department of Bad Het be willing to assist with "Sela's New Job"? http://www.yiffstar.com/?action=authorsearch&authorsearch=Jecht I'm struggling with it, but my thoughts on the riffs would be something about "What is it with Cluny and badfics involving him impaling lackeys on inanimate objects in unpleasant orifices?" and "They think whoring is Sela's 'New' Job? BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!" (The implications are there in canon, she already has no principles whatever and does anything for payment ...)

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Agents Gypsy and Cray would most certainly like to join in with that one. I'll have a read over when I'm not at uni :) and get back to you.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

Laburnum and Foxglove would be willing to assist. We're not sure if Sela is a Sue in that one - she's definitely OOC, though. Can you picture Sela being embarrassed by ANYTHING? Or not immediately thinking of a way to turn a situation to her advantage? Hell, I could actually kinda see some kind of hatesex between her and Cluny (would be a bad case of Hot Skitty On Wailord Action as the Pokemon fans say, but meh) - she tries to seduce him to get hold of the battle plans, and he knows perfectly well that that's what she's doing, and she knows that he knows that's what she's doing, and eventually they just say "bugger it" and go at it anyway :) Must write that when my work shifts cut down. Wacky het is just as much fun as slash for squicking people out. (Any weird fanfic ideas for Redwall you ever have can be discussed with me. Since I wrote Ublaz/himself at the age of fifteen, I've been pretty shameless. Would be nice to see someone else joining in though.)

And back to discussing the fic, when it got to the foot-licking bit all I could think of once the "ew" passed was that rats are famous for being among the only nonhuman animals to be ticklish ...

Reminds me, I was invited to join a Redwall group-writing-RP-thing where each person writes their own character, in which the characters are divided into groups by species and gender. Is it bad that my first reaction was to send in a transgendered character just to annoy the moderators?

[dracorn-adagio.livejournal.com]

Bwuzuh? *attempts to process fic* *brain shuts down* Velociraptors? Gaaaah.

Good sporking. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go duct tape my brain back together.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

*hands you duct tape*

[sedri.livejournal.com]

There's MORE?

Ack. Eep. No. Ow. Brain go flurgy.

By the way, is there a word missing here?
attempt to bop a velociraptor three times actual size over the head
"your actual size", or something?

Anyway... I can't say I'm looking forward to more, but good job.

*walks off muttering, "Velociraptor... of all dinos to pick..."*

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

No, three times *actual* size. As in, JP Velociraptor are three times larger than real Velociraptor (long story to do with somewhat fluid nature of dromaeosaurid classification during the time the novel was written).

Yes, there's more. Don't worry, my brain goes flurgy as well.

[sedri.livejournal.com]

Ah. Cheers for clearing that up.

(I honestly can't recall where I first heard "brain go flurgy", but it seems so very apt. :) )

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Very, very apt :)

[cassie5squared.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. That's just wrong.

Kudos to you for taking it on. I'm just disturbed. How can anybody think that's even possible?!

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

They Did Not Do The Research.

If they knew anything about eight year olds OR dinosaurs, they wouldn't have even considered it.

[manx-n-shadow.livejournal.com]

I'd lose my faith in humanity, but seeing as it's been lost quite a few times already I figured I'd just let it roam as it wished. And...it hasn't come back yet. I think it's hiding somewhere. *hunts around*

Good sporking. Horrible fic. Not really terrifying, though. (Jeez, we're such jaded creeps. xD)

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Jaded, yes. Creeps, I hope not :)

[warrior-joe.livejournal.com]

My faith in humanity is unkillable. Why? Because I remember that Mr. Rogers existed.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

*cough* Er, sorry, didn't mean to break you guys by pointing 'em out. Foul and illogical. Just reading the mission, I was going "Ohgod" under my breath a lot. I can't blame this on Furries, though, as my lady has assured me that dinopron videos exist in real life (albeit a product of the eighties and featuring men in pterosaur outfits and a surprisingly appreciative woman). So there is a reason, though a very poor one, for this writer to believe that humans and dinosaurs can have sex. Sort of.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Reason or no reason, Agent Trojie would like to point out to the author that dinosaurs and humans do NOT HAVE compatible genitalia ... and then she'd like to curl up with the Walking Witth Dinosaurs DVD and lull herself into a false sense of security that there's a world where people know that ...

Honestly, though, thank you for linking us because these things NEED to be sporked and we seem to be building ourselves a reputation for the biological oddities.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Yup, you certainly are. I mean, *I* know that prehistoric reptile bits Do Not Work Like That, but...I have no desire to witness it, much less be close enough to have to do something about it. You guys actually do these things voluntarily. While I doubt Trojie and Pads qualify for sainthood by the bounds of most religious sects, you doubtless deserve a medal.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Most religious sects would like us to be far, far away, which is an attitude we share in regards to them ... as for medals, we were awarded the Purple Spork for LxC, I think :)

We like the oddities because they're different. We don't want to get into a rut with the same old mission-types :)

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. Yay for Purple Spork. Well-awarded.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

*bows* Thank you muchly :D

[ms-duck.livejournal.com]

That's... May I have some Bleeprin? D:

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I ate all mine :( Try the General Store ...

[ms-duck.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. :( Thanks though.