Isn't your entire job sort of "an Eighties kung-fu porn movie"...?

Oi, the wonders of badfic genetics! (DMS gets to deal with that too, though generally more along the lines of "She's the offspring of a half-elf half-dragon and a faerie dryad?! What in the name of anyone were they smoking?" and "Wait, wasn't she an elf? I swear, it said just a minute ago that she was an elf.")