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Title: The two boys
Author: Miyu
Obligatory linkage: http://books.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544204021
Rating: Adult++
Sporked by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend
Sporkage rating: R
Summary: The twin princes of Archenland do some inexplicable experimentation, in the first part of Trojie and Pads' punishment for their unauthorised mission-stealing. Well, they do say payback's a bitch ...
Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] ansela_jonla for betaing.

'Gosh, what a lot of wtf.' )
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Title: Shameless (1/?)
Author: shyunpo
Obligatory Linkage: http://community.livejournal.com/dirtymangoes/14278.html
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It meant jail, was what it meant. Jailbait. That was what Skandar Keynes was. Even James finds it hard to resist temptation. God, save his soul.
Sporkage by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend as Agents 'Ridian and Stevius.
Sporking rated: R
Sporkers' notes: Agents Veridian and Stevius save James McAvoy from his own flashbacks. Follows directly on from 'Ridian's first mission, Menage a Trois. If we'd been on the ball, we'd have had this finished yesterday, in honour of the start of the sixth season of Shameless. But we're crap, so we didn't. Ah well.

'They're making my father sexually abuse my king. Or sort of.' )
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Original Fic: Bottled Feelings
Author: Ms.Ginny Snape
Obligatory Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4418348/1/
Rating: M
Sporked by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend
Sporkage rating: M
Summary: Hermione saves Luna from the unwanted attentions of Draco Malfoy. Then Hermione and Luna decide to have it away. That's actually a complete summary. There are no other details to be told. This episode comes with a full chorus of minis, some furniture rearrangement, and an ultimatum from Pads. Cheers to [livejournal.com profile] ansela_jonla for beta.

I can deal with Magical Healing Cock. Magical Healing Vagina is a new one. )
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Title: An Elf's Worst Nightmare
Author: AJ Matthews
Rating: T
Obligatory linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/587988/3/An_Elfs_Worst_Nightmare
Sporked by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend
Sporkage rated: R for Lux's inappropriatenesses
Sporkers' notes: Pads is doing Mpreg missions only in order to protect her unborn sprog, and so she continues the training of young Oscar while Trojie and Lux take on this travesty. This runs concurrently with 'Extending the Family'

If they can't share why don't they just have an orgy? )
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Title: Eternal

Author:Nienna100

Rating: M

Obligatory linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4682545/1/Eternal

Sporkage by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend

Sporking rated: R, though we feel we have done a heroic job at removing all the smut from what was essentially a series of loosely connected gratuitous sex scenes.

Sporkers' notes: Trojie and Pads have a romp, or more accurately a killing spree, through Rivendell in pursuit of a nymphomaniacal, alcoholic, underage Aragorn. Beta-d by the wonderful, spiffy [livejournal.com profile] sedri (yes, we still suck at remembering to credit our betas).


Who's this Elf he's having his way with? )
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Title: Ladi's Name
Author: vexed wench
Rating: Adult
Obligatory Linkage: http://tv.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600093917
Sporking by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend
Sporking rated: PG-13
Sporkers' notes: Short, fluffy and stupid. The fic, that is. We hope the mission isn't stupid. And for those who have been following the recent adventures of Trojie and Pads, you'll be very pleased to hear there's a total lack of graphic rape, smut and gratuitous angst. Thanks again to [livejournal.com profile] cassie5squared for the beta.


No time for excuses. We have a Duty to do. )
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I'm reposting this and deleting the old post, because for reasons I do not fully understand, my every effort to fix the formatting of the old post failed horribly. So. Here it is, hopefully readable this time.

Original fic; ‘True Love Can Conquer All’
Author; Anestel
Source; Adult Fanfiction
Pairings; Legolas/Saelbeth, Legolas/Elladan (non-consenting), Legolas/Aragorn (non-consenting) , Glorfindel/Erestor, vaguely implied Elladan/Aragorn.
Rating; On the original fic; NC-17 (details below). On this PPC fic; R-16; we had to mention some of the awful things in the NC-17 so that we could PPC it. *This includes graphic rape*. We ended it as soon as we could. And we have cut as much gratuitous smut as we could. We’re not that evil.
Notes and Disclaimer: We have no connection to Tolkien or any of his many wonderful creations. And as for Anestel . . . well, if we could hunt her down then many, many unpleasant deaths would be hers. We warn you now. If you are in any way fond of Elves in general, or are a luster for any member of the Half-elven family in any way, this fic may disturb you. If you are of a delicate constitution, we warn you also; the fic that this is based on contains the following; really bad, lubricant-less, NC-17 slash. Rape (which is repetitive and trivialised.) BDSM. Implications of Elladan being into bestiality. Also; bad language from Trojie and fiery violence from Soul.
This story is also set in the Magical World Where All Elves are Gay. And apparently Mirkwood and Imladris are at war. Go figure.
This is the sort of story that the Bad Slash department was designed for.
Mini-Balrogs are the invention of the awe-inspiring Miss Cam, and the Mini-Balrog Rhyme is of course the property of the Philosopher at Large.
We thank Agent Martin of the Mary-Sue division very, very much for reporting this fic to us. Big ups to her. Constant vigilance, boys and girls.
We thank [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend for the pointing out of grammatical errors that escaped our eyes. Not our grammatical errors; Anestel’s.
Also; shout-out to Aislynn Crowdaughter, who on being told we were working on a fic that ‘is revolting; not only is it badly written but it's about Elladan torturing Legolas,’ said ‘Let me guess: Anestels "True Love can conquer all", aka *Hit the delete key, NOW!*.’

I wouldn't read on if you like Elves at all )
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Title: DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
Author: Peter Chimaera
Obligatory Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/836450/
Sporkage by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend
Sporkage rating: M for violence and a tiny bit of swearing
Sporkage summary: Trojie has never played a FPS game in her life after a traumatic incident with Wolfenstein 3D when she was but a wee nipper, and so had no idea what was going on for most of this mission. Pads, meanwhile, spent her formative years being fragged repeatedly by her brother. Someone sent Pads a link to this fic while she was sort of [read: very] drunk, and she just couldn't resist it.


John Stalvern waited. )
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Title: Pathways
Author: skipgunner
Obligatory Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3780358/7/Pathways
Sporked by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: We don't own the PPC, and we don't own Stargate. We definitely don't own Pathways, and if we ever owned Kithra-Sue it would only be for the half an hour it would take us to think of, and apply, a really creatively painful death. The Stupid Generator is the brainchild of [info]synecdochic, and is used with permission. Technically contains spoilers for the movie 'Serenity' and for bits of SGA. Wash is the property of Joss Whedon. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] cassie5squared for the beta.

Part Two )
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Title: Pathways
Author: skipgunner
Obligatory Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3780358/7/Pathways
Sporked by: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: We don't own the PPC, and we don't own Stargate. We definitely don't own Pathways, and if we ever owned Kithra-Sue it would only be for the half an hour it would take us to think of, and apply, a really creatively painful death. The Stupid Generator is the brainchild of [livejournal.com profile] synecdochic, and is used with permission. Technically contains spoilers for the movie 'Serenity' and for bits of SGA. Wash is the property of Joss Whedon. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] cassie5squared for the beta.

You've reconfigured the hacking programme to pick up missions with <i>beards</i> in, haven't you!? )
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Title: Murder

Author: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie and [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend

Rating: R

Authors' Notes Very much AU. Bad Slash Agents going flamethrower-, or in this case, scalpel-crazy. This has been sitting in googledocs for a while; we figured it was about time it was posted.


Trojie and Pads do something they really shouldn't. And it feels good. )
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Title: Agent July's Birthday

Author: [livejournal.com profile] agenttrojie

Rating: er, PG? Comedy drug use, comedy alcohol, comedy ungulates ...

Thanks as always to [livejournal.com profile] tea_fiend for the beta-read.

Beware the Ides of July! )
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